The Envelope Please.....

After everything, comes the truth....

I take some pictures with my parents, beaming with happiness.

I listen to the dean talk bout our statistics....

I run to the table, and grab my letter....

Starting July 1, 2008, you can expect to see me here....


Howard University Hospital, in Washington, DC.

I am thrilled....

This is going to be one heck of a year.

Dedrum..... What Have You Done?????

So, a few hours after the immediate excitement of passing another hurdle, it hit me....

I am going to be a ...... Surgeon....... [Holy Implausible Scenarios, Batman!]

It happened as I was talking to a close friend. And as those words came out my mouth, I started to choke up.

All those years of struggle.
The sleepless nights.
The long days.
The times when I questioned myself, and questioned myself, and questioned myself.
The times when I came this close to quitting.
The times when I came this close to leaving.
The times when I felt my sanity slip...

And now this...

Now, there's a program that said "Yes Dedrum, we like you. We think that you have the right stuff, and we want you to have OUR coat, wear OUR name on your shoulder, and learn from OUR teachers as you heal OUR patients...."

Introducing DeDrum, Surgeon-in-training.

See why 2008 won't be like anything you've seen before.

Black Monday - Part 2

I MATCHED!!!!!

The news was simple: 'Congratulations. You have matched to a one year position.'

And with that, I at least knew that I'd be somewhere this July...

It isn't exactly what I wanted, but it's still gonna be all right....

Tune in Thursday for the rest of the Saga.....

Black Monday

Black Monday...

That's the day, for you non-Medical types, where we find out IF we matched...

Once that happens, all that's left is to wait until the big day...

Black Monday falls in just over 12 hours.

And to be honest, I'm feeling all right. I'm looking forward to it.

After all, once Monday passes, the worst case scenario, I'm learning surgery SOMEWHERE.

But to be honest, it's funny to think that somewhere, in this country, SOMEBODY knows where I'll be.

Until Thursday, that somebody isn't me.

9 Days....

In a week and 2 days, I find out where I spend the next 5 or so years of my life.

In six days, I know if I can sit pretty for the remaining 3 days, or if I'll be feverishly making calls for open spots.

If I get the "Congratulations" email on Monday, I may take the day off on principle....

This part of the wait is killing me.

The sensation of 'fait accompli' that accompanied the certification deadline is gone....

This is different.

Nothing I can do but wait. But, I swear, I've got a nagging desire to eat TUMS like they were tic-tacs....

Now, We Wait....

The certification deadline came and went.

With the exception of me throwing info on the programs that I ranked onto the floor, and pacing the room like a trapped Sith, I made it to the 9 pm deadline without incident.

At this point, all I can do is wait...

... wait for march 18th, and hope to God that I hear nothing from my dean
... wait until March 20th, where I find out where I'll be "living" for the next 1 - 7 years...

The peculiar thing is this.... once the certification deadline came, I was calm... After all, at that point, all I can do is wait. There is absolutely NOTHING I can do until then.

CORRECTION: I can freak out whenever members of my family insinuate as to what my future location will be.... :-)


And this is a little something I found whilst searching for a Sith image... I couldn't let it pass....

When I grow up....

So, I know what everyone must be thinking...

How on EARTH did you pick surgery?

Well, my friends, the answer on this the eve of the certification deadline, is simple.

Med School is about flow charts. And choosing your future career is no different.


As you will see to the left, is how it all works out.

I will say this much though. I am not too sure about the peds people...

But then again, that's just my opinion.

Obviously, we don't really pick our careers this way. But you'd be surprised how close to accurate this little flow chart is.

It would be nice if it were this simple....

Now, for some added fun, you should see how we put rank lists together.

It makes the NFL draft look like a walk in the park.

Five Days and Counting...

As of this morning, I have something in the neighborhood of 5 days to go until my list MUST be certified...

Fear not, true believers, I already certified it about 3 days ago.

It's just the finality of it all.... Kind of like when the music stops during Final Jeopardy, or when you're taking a standardized test, and the teacher says "Pencils Down!"

Here's what's funny about the process... In my dream the other day, it came to me that I should shift two programs around, because one program's location offered better support structure (in other words, I would be in driving distance of my adopted mom's cooking). I went to my list the following morning, and that's the way things were.

Kind of like that run of tomato sauce commercials where nobody with an herb or spice related name (eg. Basil, Rosemary, Herb, the Spice Girls) can think of anything to add...

This process, especially once it comes down to rank list, is kind of like a recipe. You add a pinch of this and that... stir... taste, add some more... stir again... and then you reach a point where it's either perfect, or you realize that nothing can be added to it.... at which point you dish it out, plate, and hope for the best come dinner time.... hoping at best that someone raves, or at worst... that nobody gets sick.

Then, it's just 3 short weeks until my fate is decided....

Reality? Or Shared Delusion?

I suppose that the moment that I TRULY realized that I was differentiating into a surgical type came during a bagel breakfast from a kosher place. On the table, there was a plastic tub labeled "Nova Lox." I saw it, and immediately saw "Lovenox," and happily assumed that it was a drug-sponsored breakfast. (Such an innocent mistake!!!)

It took me at least 10 minutes to realize that it was, in fact, a fish, and not an anti-coagulant....

In that fine tradition, I came across this little beauty.

I laughed, at first.

Then as I moved down the list, I started to wonder who had been violating my thoughts...

Take a look. Some of you will enjoy this. Others will gasp in horror. And still others (family, significant others) will cast a knowing look.

Medical School Nerd Scale

Score one point for each statement that applies to you.
(The stuff in Bold is the stuff that DOESN'T apply to me.... )

1 You have ever said "Netter is god" (I once proposed that we name our Med Student Jazz Band 'The Frank Netter Experience' ... I was soundly vetoed)
2 You can discuss autopsy/ anatomy over a meal (during first year, I would consider eating in lab if they let us....)
3 You own a 4 color pen
4 -it just isn't enough colors for you
5 You use more than one color to take notes
6 You have use up more than 6 highlighters in the past 6 months
7 you have ever highlighted something YOU wrote
8 you retype handouts given in class
9 you haven't had a date in 3 months
10 you haven't had a date since entering med school
11 you have not been able to remember the normal term for something because you were thinking of the medical term (ie reflux for heartburn)
12 You get more sleep in lecture than at home
13 You know the correct spelling for pruritus
14 - you also know what it means
15 You have ever asked a question in class
16 - The prof. didn't understand the question
17 - you didn't believe the answer the prof. gave
18 - you went to look it up to see if they were right
19 You can't hold a conversation on anything other than med school (I occasionally deviate to computers, or politics, but it will drift back to medicine... Does that count?!?!?)
20 You skip class to study
21 You've said you didn't do well on a test on which you beat the mean
22 You spend more than 15 hrs a week on e-mail
23 You have a callous on you finger from writing
24 More than one professor knows you by name
25 When you ask a question, a new professor has said "Oh, I've heard of you"
26 You can name more amino acids than past presidents
27 You use more than 5 acronyms an hour when talking
28 you actually know what PERRLA stands for
29 You know all the steps of the TCA cycle
30 You do not read PTA as parent teachers association
31 You can remember the muscles in the forearm (little rusty on that... but they'll come back to me)
32 You know the structures in the urea cycle
33 You know the dermatome distribution
34 You can't remember what you had for breakfast
35 You can't spell world, much less backwards (I have nightmares about having to do serial sevens...)
36 You've ever been sexually aroused by the breast shadow on an X ray (To quote Paris Hilton, "That's Hot!")
37 You equate "morning stiffness" with Rheumatoid Arthritis
38 You actually know normal values for plasma Na (Sodium)
39 - And for K (Potassium)
40 Missing class causes you extreme stress
41 You have seriously asked someone "So how does that make you feel?"
42 You have asked will this be on the exam
43 -Just after the prof. said it wouldn't
44 You identify with Deb on E.R. (Who's Deb? And I stopped watching E.R. sometime in the last millennia)
45 You have made a medical joke
46 -no one laughed
47 -You figure they just weren't that far in their studying
48 You wear your stethoscope around your neck on the bus
49 - you don't even know which way the thing goes in your ears
50 "SOB" means short of breath to you
51 You have gone to student health with suspicion of a disease you have studied
52 -within 3 days of the lecture
53 You have answered a question in class
54 -asked by the professor
55 -it was a rhetorical question
56 You can quote lines from the movie "Malice"
57 -you believe them
58 You can flip your pen over your thumb
59 - with both hands
60 - you do so throughout class
61 You have corrected a professor in class (he made a mistake, and I was trying to help him out!!!)
62 -the rest of the class didn't understand the lecture to begin with
63 You know how to calculate specificity
64 -positive predictive value
65 - anion gap
66 -you can't balance your checkbook
67 You don't know what the weather was like for the past week
68 You don't know what the weather is like right now
69 You actually talk in open ended questions
70 DIC isn't a slang term for the penis in your book
71 You think B- is a bad grade
72 you have stressed about a pass/fail class
73 You study during most of your meals
74 You saw nothing abnormal about the Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (There's a little Monk in all of us, isn't there?)
75 You draw all of the slides not already provided in the handouts
76 -including the cartoons (humorous type)
77 Anatomy makes you hungry
78 You would even consider saying "Ease back on my finger at your own pace"
79 You know the size of a RBC
80 - you don't know the size of a football field (100 yards, with 10yards each for the end zone.... Not as clear on width though)
81 Your eyesight has worsened by 10 pts or more in the last year
82 You have the library hours memorized
83 You have your own seat in the library
84 You score more than 95 on the Epidemiology final
85 You own more than one white coat
86 You have debated between giving up sleep or eating in order to find more time to study
87 You started studying for boards more than 2 months in advance
88 You have never received a personal invitation to discuss your grades with the dean
89 A tie is the only addition necessary to what you normally wear when you go to see patients
90 You wear scrubs to tests
91 You have made plans to study on a beach during vacation
92 - you actually did
93 You have a designated seat in lecture
94 - You have ever asked someone to move from "your seat" (I came reeeeaaal close once)
95 You sleep less than 4 hrs a night
96 -you think that is plenty
97 -you have thought about cutting back
98 You study more than 35 hrs outside of class
99 -you think you are a slacker
100 You think everyone answers yes to most of these questions


Scale

<20 - You're not in Med school. Go back to your party and leave us alone. We have work to do.

20-35 Either Med school is a breeze or you like the sound of "Senor doctor"

35-45 Gotta love that Primary Care

45-60 Well, I never really thought about MD/PhD, but now that you mention it...

60-75 Your social life is shot, might as well try to earn lots of money

75-90 Which surgery subspecialty did you say you liked?

90 All hail, great Med School Nerd master.

Good Lord, My Stomach Can't Take This...

February 8, and the countdown clock in my head has 3 timers running simultaneously:

1. 19 days until my rank list for residency must be submitted

TICK!!!!

2. 6 weeks until Match Day

TOCK!!!

3. 3 months until Graduation

TICK!!!

(4. 14 shifts in my upcoming ED rotation)

(TOCK!!!)

To be quite honest, it's enough to make one sick. The notion the my simple actions in the next 2 weeks could potentially dictate my fate for the next 5-7 years. Or the reality that my fate could well be decided in the next 6 weeks....

Up until this point, things were simple: Show up, do your work, try hard (and in some cases, coast and accept the consequences). In all that, it was well-defined in terms of what the next day, week, or month would bring.

Now, not-so-much.

I look at my list (in Excel, of course. I reined in my Obsessive-Compulsive tendencies well enough to avoid making a Filemaker database), and....
I wonder what those programs think of me.
I wonder if I'd do well there.
I wonder if my listing is the smartest one, or if there is some magical algorithm that represents the best approach.

I wonder if I made the right decision.

Perhaps, I'll wake up tomorrow and be fine, and realize that this was just the sleep deprivation talking.

Perhaps, I'll simply need to accept that there is only so much that a man can do, and complete my list and certify it, sitting tight until late March.

Either way, I've got to keep moving.

Because it doesn't matter where I go.... I'll have to be ready to move.

3 Months..... Countless Hospitals..... One Suit

Well, yesterday was my last scheduled interview, and the close of the interview season for me.

There's a part of me that's going to miss the travel (I think that it's the part of me that has barely gone anywhere in the past several years... the same part of me that will be tethered to a hospital for the next 5-7 years).

But at the same time, I now have enough of those little hotel soaps that my place is stuffed to the gills (Look, I'm a student with negative income.... If I'm paying for a hotel, I'm getting EVERY CENT out of it... plus, some of the hotels put out some really good swag)

My new tailored black suit, barely 5 months old, has been put through it's paces. And I'm ashamed to say that I've worn suits more often in the past 3 months than I have over the past year, at least.

My garment bag is falling apart, and Delta nearly gave me an MI on at least
two occasions (A word to the wise. Those sturdy garment bags that fold in half are awesome for keeping things organized and your clothes uncrushed. Delta just happens to have a few planes that aren't so kind to such devices. My advice: take the bag as carry-on, and yield it - if you must - at the gate. That way somebody has to physically carry that sucker down to the cargo hold. Plus, there's always the chance that you'll get it on board with you.
:-)

What's been good? Let's see:
DC: Loved the Metro; Plus there's a quaint little hotel in the city called the Embassy Inn. Small room, but all the amenities, and excellent swag, including the hand lotion (hotel sized = travel sized = convenient to carry in the suit pocket during interviews...)

Albany: Hilton Garden Inn, at the hospital rate.... Beyond awesome. The city looked amazing, with a ton of great things to see and do.

Hapeville, GA (ATL Suburb): Ubiquitous Sweet Tea, even at McDonalds (GIANT CUP! ONE DOLLAR!). Best Western. Good prices, and surprisingly luxurious. Juanito's Restaurant, across from the hotel. AUTHENTIC Mexican food, and at good prices. MARTA. Clean. Cheap. Fast. The very first Chick-Fil-A restaurant.

Pittsfield, MA: The Berkshires. Beautiful driving down the Mass Pike. No tolls heading Westbound on the Mass Pike. No Traffic on the Mass Pike. (All Mass Pike reference hold true for Albany, as well)

Baltimore: Inner Harbor. Say no more. I would make references to Blue Crab, but I'd rather not go into anaphylactic shock.

Long Branch, NJ: The Atlantic Ocean in walking distance from the hospital. The View of the ocean from the 6th floor ICU. Cluck-U Chicken. Actually, Cluck-U also holds true for Maryland.

So now, we wait... and plan.

Rank lists are due in about one month's time, and the mere act of typing it just now put my stomach in knots.

Well, time to jet.